you guys were way drunker than both of me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
