Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
