drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
