that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
