is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
