So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
