there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
