I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
