So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
