Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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