I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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