when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize