6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
