If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize