Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
