This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
