Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
