Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
