We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
