You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
