we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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