.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
