take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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