Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
