There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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