Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
