My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
