That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
