Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
