better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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