you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
home. puking in laundry basket.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
