does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
