they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
