She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
