who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The ass gains better be worth it
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