I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
