There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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