I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize