sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
