There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize