I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
