We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
