my phone needs a breathalizer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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