Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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