Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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