Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
