it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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