Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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