I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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