HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
