I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
