I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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