he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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