he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
