Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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