Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
