now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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