I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Randomize
