So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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