let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
