Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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