so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
