if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How external is "for external use only"?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
