peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
