It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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